The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
