your room smells of hookers.
And success
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
