Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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