and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
