i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize