How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
