dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize