Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
