I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
