so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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