I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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