i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
