Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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