God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just had sex on a roof
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
