i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
