Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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