I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
