Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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