Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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