i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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