hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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