If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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