Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Randomize
