Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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