Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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