he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
