Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
