Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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