This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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