Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
