We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
