mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
