ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
