You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize