what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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