the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
