Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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