Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
