I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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