he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
