Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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