He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
