This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i've created a new STD.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
