I wish life had little blips of pornography
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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