Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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