oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
