please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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