and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize