you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
