is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
