You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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