i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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