I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He kissed a someone with a penis
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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