Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
