The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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