I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
