thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
