I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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