Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
the raccoons are back...
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