And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
worst night to have a conscience
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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