Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
