Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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