did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
