You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
