Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
