why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
